How to Give Your Therapist Feedback: A Guide to Enhancing Your Therapy Experience
Therapy is most effective when there’s open and honest communication between you and your therapist. But sharing feedback—whether it’s positive, negative, or constructive—can feel challenging. You might worry about hurting their feelings, disrupting the process, or even damaging the relationship. However, giving your therapist feedback is essential for making progress and ensuring you get the most out of your sessions.
Here’s how to approach giving feedback to your therapist in a way that is respectful, clear, and beneficial for both of you.
Why Feedback is Important
Therapy is a collaborative process, and your therapist’s goal is to support you. They rely on your input to understand what’s working, what isn’t, and how they can tailor their approach to better meet your needs. By providing feedback, you can:
Improve the effectiveness of therapy: Help your therapist understand what strategies resonate with you and which ones don’t.
Enhance communication: Strengthen your relationship by fostering an environment of openness and trust.
Take ownership of your mental health journey: Play an active role in shaping your therapy experience.
When to Give Feedback
It’s best to give feedback as soon as you notice something isn’t working for you or if you feel a need for change. For example:
If you feel like your therapist isn’t addressing your concerns directly
If certain therapeutic techniques don’t resonate with you
If you’re uncomfortable with the pacing or structure of the sessions
If you notice positive changes and want to share what’s working
Regularly checking in, even briefly, can help keep things on track and prevent minor issues from escalating into major frustrations.
How to Give Feedback Effectively
Sharing your thoughts doesn’t have to be uncomfortable or awkward. Here’s a step-by-step guide to providing feedback to your therapist:
1. Be Honest, Yet Respectful
Start by being transparent about your feelings, but aim to be respectful and constructive. For example:
Instead of saying, “I don’t like how you handle things,” try, “I’ve noticed that I’m not connecting with this approach—can we try something different?”
2. Use “I” Statements
Using “I” statements can help you express your feelings without sounding accusatory. For example:
“I feel like I need more time to discuss my current challenges before moving on to new topics.”
This approach shifts the focus to your personal experience rather than suggesting your therapist is doing something wrong.
3. Be Specific and Provide Examples
When you give feedback, try to be as specific as possible. This will help your therapist understand what you’re referring to and how they can adjust. For example:
“When we focus on problem-solving too quickly, I feel like I don’t have enough space to process my emotions.”
4. Share What’s Working, Too
Feedback isn’t just about pointing out what’s not working. Sharing positive feedback is equally important. If certain techniques or approaches have been helpful, let your therapist know. For example:
“I really appreciate how you’ve been validating my feelings lately—it’s made me feel more supported.”
5. Frame It as a Team Effort
Reiterate that you’re both working together toward the same goal. You can say something like:
“I want to make sure we’re on the same page so that I can get the most out of our sessions.”
This shows that your feedback is about collaboration and improvement, not criticism.
How Your Therapist Might Respond
A good therapist will welcome your feedback and use it as an opportunity to enhance the therapeutic relationship. They might:
Ask follow-up questions to better understand your concerns.
Explore different approaches to find what works best for you.
Validate your feelings and thank you for being open.
If your therapist becomes defensive or dismissive, it may be a sign to re-evaluate the therapeutic fit. While this reaction is rare, it’s important to feel comfortable expressing yourself.
If You’re Unsure About Giving Feedback
If you’re hesitant to give feedback, consider starting small. You could frame it as a question or a reflection, such as:
“I’m wondering if we could spend a little more time talking through my anxiety before jumping into solutions. What do you think?”
This approach can ease you into the conversation and gauge your therapist’s receptiveness.
Final Thoughts: Don’t Be Afraid to Speak Up
Giving your therapist feedback can feel daunting, but it’s a crucial part of your therapy experience. It allows you to tailor the process to your needs, strengthens your relationship with your therapist, and ultimately helps you make more progress.
Remember, therapy is your space. Don’t hesitate to speak up about what’s on your mind, whether it’s positive feedback, areas of improvement, or something you’d like to change. By doing so, you take an active role in your mental health journey and create a more effective, meaningful therapeutic experience.
By fostering open communication, you can build a strong, supportive partnership with your therapist and work together to achieve your mental health goals.
If you need help finding mental health care covered by your insurance, MiResource can help you find the right provider for you.
